Why do I write? I write, simply enough, because I have to. There are words and stories inside of me that need to be told. They need to be heard. This is why I write.
I started this blog to write my stories, not so much for others to read, but, as proof I existed, that I was here. Some may not see my stories as their own, they may have different memories. After all, we all live our own lives and have our own stories. These are my memories; and I tell them with no apologies. I hope others understand.
I started this blog to write my stories, not so much for others to read, but, as proof I existed, that I was here. Some may not see my stories as their own, they may have different memories. After all, we all live our own lives and have our own stories. These are my memories; and I tell them with no apologies. I hope others understand.
I was recently asked why I write. It took me a while to figure out if
why I originally began writing was the same reason I am still writing
today. In the meantime, life happened, as they say and the question, believe it
or not continued to circulate around in my head constantly. My answer, in some
ways, keeps changing, while also remaining the same.
I began blogging to write stories about who I am and about my life. It
was meant to be a legacy to my grandchildren about who their Nana was. About 16 years ago, I divorced my
daughters' father. He alienated them from me, and like most children, they do
not understand this, and the last sixteen years have been hell. My youngest daughter and
I have begun building a relationship from now going forward. The past is taboo.
My older daughter has not spoken to me in about ten years or better. She is
married and has two children, my grandchildren, whom I am not allowed to have
any interaction with.
That was why I began writing; to leave stories behind for them. Then, one day when
I really didn't have a story to write, I decided to write a book review on
the latest book I was reading. Book reviewing opened
up a whole new world that I never knew existed and my blog's following began
growing, and growing.
Then, in March of this year, I was diagnosed with Essential
Thrombocythemia, and with that diagnosis came a not so good prognosis. In June,
I was diagnosed with a second rare blood disorder, Polycythemia Vera. Once
again, my world was tilted on its axis and I walked around in a daze trying to
take it all in and gain a little prospective. I know why I began writing, but
all of a sudden, I was trying to figure out why I continue to write.
I love to write and I love telling my stories, and goodness knows,
there's a huge stack -or two- of books I need to read and review for authors.
So, right now, that is my focus. I will continue to read and write my reviews,
and when stories happen, I will continue to document my adventures in the hope
that my grandchildren will one day read them and know who their Nana was.
Because, no matter what anyone else says, the only way to truly know a person
is to know their story.
Some extra thoughts:
We all hide..... January 2010
"We all live in hiding and one way or another each of us conceals pieces of ourselves from the rest of the world. Some people hide because their lives depend on it, others, because they just want someone to care enough to look for them. Some of us hide in hope that someone will love us enough to find us."
My quote of the day..... January 2010
I always post a quote each day, well most days, on my Face book page. Today, instead of using someone else's, I posted one of my own. It began as I was looking at my ever growing list of to do's, knowing that I would never accomplish them all today, when I began to wonder how I would describe a "successful" day. It certainly wasn't going to have anything to do with my list being completed; I couldn't seem to focus. After a monumentous amount of thought, I came up with my own quote of the day, which I thought I would share with you. "If I have really laughed, I mean really, really laughed, a laugh that filled a portion of my heart and left me smiling, then I will consider my day to have been successful." I always considered my days to be "successful" if my list was complete but as time has gone by, I now consider a day with laughter to be "successful." I know that if I have laughed, really laughed, during the day, then that means that there were a few minutes where I did not think of and miss my daughters. There were a few moments where the pain of separation was momentarily forgotten.
