Taking his name? Yay or Nay?

Friendly Debates With The Danielle’s!



THIS WEEKS TOPICTaking His Name?Yay or Nay?What do YOU say? MY OPINION?I Say Yay.  
I found a cool blog where they love having debates. When I saw their debate of the week I thought, hey, this is something I can relate to. Add to that, I love expressing my opinion and there is just no one around here most days for me to express that opinion to. Hubby is working and I think the dogs are a little bored with my incessant rambling. 
I did take my Hubby's last name. After all, I am very proud to be his wife and I want people to know that we are a unit. However, (you did know that was coming) Hubby's brother is also married to a Donna. It does provide situations where we are being introduced to become a little comedic at times. Just the other night, when Hubby's band was playing and someone came up to introduce themselves to us, I said, "I'm Donna Theriot" and the other DT followed with, "I'm Donna Theriot". The look on the person's face was one of confusion and then plain bafflement (it was funny. People just sort of stand there with their mouths open until the brain kicks back in.) When no explanation was forthcoming, only laughter, she introduced herself to the next person, who fortunately for her, did not say, "I'm Donna Theriot". The scenario reminded me a little of that old game show where three people introduced themselves as the same person and then the contestant had to figure out who was the "real" person. The name somehow escapes me at the moment (I think I'll be having many more of those moments as I get older.)
Any hoo, I've digressed as we Southerners are infamous for. I have Hubby's name, but I also kept my own. I was married before and I felt I had lost my identity, so I decided to keep my own name this time around. I am always Mrs. Theriot first and foremost, but my name is Donna McBroom-Theriot.
So....I say Yay!

Thursday - Where Truth is the Dare

It’s Thursday again – and we all know what that means!

Here is this week’s question.

Truth? or Dare?

What is the last thing you said that you regretted the moment it came out of your mouth?

I'll be posting my answer next week because 

I want every one to come up with their answer spontaneously 

and not be guided by my answer. I cannot wait to hear your answers! 

Thank you all for participating.

My answer to last week’s question “If it is found out about, what are you going to get in trouble for?"


I’m always in trouble so I have a hard time answering this question. I like what someone else said. “Can you still get in trouble if you’re over 50?” Apparently, you CAN, and I DO! 

This book can be found on Amazon:

Public Lies by Brenda Youngerman

Public Lies by Brenda Youngerman

Book Blurb

She was running from an unimaginable horror...but will it catch up with her?

"I'm being followed. I know I am, she thought. "He's watching every move I make. There is no way I'm going to escape without his knowing. He'll find me." With every sound, her body jerked. Her tension exaggerated each bump in the road. Every car that passed was an enemy to be dealt with. The two children, fast asleep in the backseat, were unaware of their mother's apprehension. They didn't know their futures were about to be irreversibly altered...

Nancy thought she had married her Prince Charming. But six years later, she was on the run with her two young children, trying to escape her abusive, drug-addicted husband. In a new town, living under new names, the Cooper family begins life anew.

But as the years pass, Nancy's children begin to question their mother's motives for leaving. Her son's constant recriminations fill her with guilt and give way to the thought that if they return home, maybe she can put things right. Returning to the place where her nightmare of a marriage began, she must now face a man whose days have been filled with twisted thoughts of revenge. As the court turns its back on her, her husband takes steps to punish her...as he always vowed he would.

Public Lies takes a chilling look at the reality of domestic violence, shedding light and understanding on a problem in American society that is all-too-often swept under the carpet.

About the Author:

Brenda Youngerman sas raised in Southern California and has been writing since she was a child. Her first novel, Private Scars, was published in 2006 and takes an insiders view of domestic abuse. It allows the reader a vantage point on how a victim is isolated and alienated from everything they know and love. Private Scars won both the editors choice and publishers choice awards. Since the release of Private Scars Youngerman has released a novel a year bringing up what she calls, "Fiction With a Purpose," books that take on social issues and very real world problems. She hopes that a reader puts down one of her books and asks the question, "Was that real?"

If one person is helped by reading a Youngerman novel and realizes that they are not alone in their predicament, she has achieved success in her eyes.

Guest Post by Brenda Youngerman

Writing..... hmmm... I am often asked when did I start writing and I find that the answer is a difficult one to come up with. I think that I have probably been writing all of my life. I loved reading as a child and the stories would take me off into other worlds and other peoples' lives. It was a great way to grow an imagination. I distinctly remember writing short stories in high school and I have been keeping a journal since I was sixteen. I have been known to write poetry as well as a children's story here and there. But for some reason Private Scars was a story that yearned to be written. The opening paragraphs kept showing up in everything I wrote. Perhaps it was that inner author in me screaming to be heard. I honestly didn't think I would be able to continue writing after Public Lies came out - after all, who was going to read stories that I made up in my head? But when Hidden Truths came out and the reviews and interviews kept asking me if it was non-fiction I realized that I have the ability to weave a story about real issues that make people believe the stories are real. Hidden Truths came completely out of my imagination. Now don't get me wrong, the issues that I write about do not come from my imagination, they are very real. 

I had made a conscious decision to write about difficult issues and I know that a lot of people would prefer to read an uplifting story. I want to believe that my stories are uplifting in their resolutions, but the fact of the matter is that we live in a world where there are many difficult subjects not being discussed in the mainstream of conversation. I began Fiction with a Purpose for just that reason. Hopefully a person in a similar situation as my characters will realize that they are not alone in their plight. If one person feels that the book is speaking to them then I have accomplished what I set out to do.

In 2007, after Public Lies was published I made a promise to myself to have a new book published every year. So far I have managed to keep up with that goal and with Skewered Halo's release, my 7th book has seen the light of day. I am always open to suggestions and comments from my readers (or bystanders) and welcome new novel plot suggestions. To find out more information about my work please visit my website: Brenda Youngerman.com. And to follow my daily antics and thoughts please come visit my blog.

Book Quotes:

If Vice Cooper wanted something, he didn’t give up, no matter what the cost, who got in the way, or who he had to hurt in his quest. When he discovered Nancy, his wife of six years, had left him, he was seething with anger. Fury and betrayal dominated his core. Nobody crossed Vince without paying the price. She was going to pay for ruining his life! Not only had she left him, she had stolen his children as well. He barely woke up on Monday, August 22. His cocaine hangover…

Six years earlier, Nancy Suzanne Lewiston married her Prince Charming, or so she thought, in the backyard of her parents’ home. Her sparkling, aqua-blue eyes, vibrant smile, glowing skin, and silky blonde hair could fill a crowded room with warmth. Her effervescent personality, wit, and charm surrounded her with a loving family and abundant friends. That was until she was married. Everything changed after that.

“Hi, Frank! Hi, Lilly,” Olivia said to the children, trying to maintain her composure. “Remember me? I’m Aunt Olivia. Would you like something to eat?” Frank and Lilly both clung tightly to their mother for comfort, unsure of where they were, or who their Aunt Olivia was. Part of the control Vince had wielded over Nancy included secluding her from her family.

“Oh, Nancy, why didn’t you tell me?”…”I thought you wouldn’t believe me.”…”Vince is two different people. The world sees the nice Vince, the one he wants people to see. I see the mean, controlling, jealous, possessive Vince. If I’m out of his sight, he needs to know who I’m with. Even then, he never believes anything I say. It doesn’t matter what I do. It’s never good enough. The dinner isn’t right. There’s never enough sex. The house isn’t clean enough. The clothes aren’t folded right. It just doesn’t matter.”

“He kept telling me I was stupid and ugly. No one would want anything to do with me, and I believed him.”

“He convinces everyone around him what a good person he is and what a bitch I am. You have no idea what it’s like to live with him. He’s the devil incarnate. If you don’t do exactly what he wants and when he wants, there’s hell to pay. He takes it out of your hide, one way or another.”

His goal was to find Nancy, win her back, show her he had changed, and then destroy her. No, he wanted to annihilate her. He would decimate every fiber in her being, every thread in her soul, and every twine in her essence. Vince’s anger ran through each vein that pumped blood to his heart.

On the day Nancy had left, Vince was hung-over, overweight, disheveled, and slovenly. That man no longer existed. He had been clean and sober for more than a year and had rebuilt his body. Vengeance was a powerful fuel.

“She’s a drug addict and a horrible mother” Vince said with conviction. “She lies and steals. She doesn’t know right from wrong.” He looked so convincingly pathetic…

My Review:

Brenda Youngerman has made good on her promise to always “write with a purpose”. Public Lies is a story about spousal abuse. Her accuracy in the depiction of the abuse and court system and what a family goes through left me questioning how close to the subject the author was, meaning the story was accurate and well researched.

Abusers are charismatic. They hold down prominent jobs. They have many friends. And, they look like normal people. The old song lyrics “you never know what goes on behind closed doors” is never truer than in an abusive situation. The mind is a powerful thing, but at the mercy of a manipulative person, it can be broken down more easily than one can imagine. A seemingly innocent remark that comes out of nowhere, yet used repeatedly can undermine the confidence of another, “You don’t have to feel bad because you never finished college.” Add to that and many more manipulative statements, the lies that an abuser will tell his friends to convince others how horrible his spouse is and you have the makings of abusive life. When children are part of the dynamics, Parental Alienation can factor in to the equation.

The author wrote an excellent book accurately depicting abuse. The book chronicled Nancy’s life of abuse, leaving her husband, and the subsequent legal actions taken in filing for divorce and having the children represented by an attorney. The book was well developed, but personally, I felt the story ended abruptly. Having been through an emotionally, mentally, and verbally abusive marriage, I was expecting a different outcome. I think this is an excellent book. It will give those people who have no idea what takes place in such a situation, a little insight. I definitely recommend reading this book.

Thursday - Where Truth is the Dare

It’s Thursday again – and we all know what that means!

Here is this week’s question.

Truth? or Dare?

If it is found out about, what are you going to get in trouble for?
(I love this question!)

I'll be posting my answer next week because 

I want every one to come up with their answer spontaneously 

and not be guided by my answer. I cannot wait to hear your answers! 

Thank you all for participating.

My answer to last week’s question “If you could go back in time, five to ten years and give yourself advice, what would it be?


I'm still thinking about how to phrase it. I'll be back.

This book can be found on Amazon:

The Versatile Blogger Award

My blog was awarded the The Versatile  Blogger Award by Steph at

http://fromstephskitchen.blogspot.com/

Thanks Steph!

According to the rules, I am to nominate seven other blogs and list seven things about

myself. Well, here goes:

1.  I love to bake. I do all my baking from scratch and I've gotten so spoiled, that if it is not made from scratch, I won't eat it. I am a real "from scratch" snob.

2.  I love my two West German Shepherds. I could just sit for hours on the porch swing and watch them play.

3.  I have a book (or Kindle) with me at all times. I cannot stand to be idle.

4.  I love to write, even if I'm having writer's block and I am only writing my name.

5.  I have a heavy foot when driving. I am so very bad. I hate to follow and I hate to be in a group, so I usually end up setting the pace. I must also be invisible or God simply protects the dumb and innocent because I have never gotten stopped.

6.  I do not like stupid people. This has nothing to do with brain power folks. Nothing irks me more than seeing an adult who doesn't like you, trying to impose that dislike on their child when when you are an integral part of their life. (Divorce makes stupid people even more stupid.)

7.  I love thunderstorms. I love the cool breeze and the wind and the rain (so long it's outside and I'm inside.)

The seven blogs I am passing the award along to are:

http://astoryunraveled.blogspot.com/

http://melissa-ididit.blogspot.com/

http://www.framedcooks.com

http://contemplationsofanarmywife.blogspot.com/

http://lindsayandjaneviewsandreviews.blogspot.com

http://www.ugochi-jolomi.com/

http://everydaysadie.tumblr.com

Congratulations to all of you! You deserve it!

Do I hear an Amen?!

Every now and then - ok, lots of the time - I come across a post on someone's blog that just resonates with me. I have decided to post one of those times. Some people have a habit of telling me that they think some of my characteristics (the ones they don't like), the things that make me "me", the ones I happen to think are strengths and NOT weaknesses, are not so great. Like, who made you an expert on my strengths and weaknesses? That's what I mean!

Judaye has come into her own. I hope you enjoy this post as much as I did, and perhaps garner a little courage and backbone in the process. AND feel free to leave your comments. How do you feel on this issue? 

Worrying About What People Think

I have a serious problem.

For some irrational reason I am fearful of what other people think.  I mean people who do not know me and I do not know them. Then there are the people who think they know me that I do not have a relationship with.

I did not have this problem when I was younger.  When I got married I changed.  Why did I change?  I was trying to fit into a new environment.  We moved from a state I liked to a state I will never fit into.

As I get older I do not have the energy to try to fit in.  Also, people work my nerves with their bullshit.  One of the things that I have slowly learned and accepted is that all people, that is everybody,  have faults, problems, and disappointments.  Yet they continually put other people down.  Probably to deflect attention from themselves.  I admit I am occasionally guilty of this too.

From now on I am going to concentrate on myself and ignore what most people say about me, usually behind my back.  I am going to work on my goals and try to please myself and try to leave other people alone most of the time. Yep. I will let Bub make his own mistakes just like I did.  It really feels good to live this way.

Be good to yourself or I'm going to talk about you.

Judaye   

Tales from Under a Middle Aged Colored Woman: Worrying About What People Think

Thursday's Where Truth is the Dare

It’s Thursday again – and we all know what that means!

Here is this week’s question.

Truth? or Dare?

If you could go back in time, five to ten years and give yourself
advice, what would it be?

I'll be posting my answer next week because 

I want every one to come up with their answer spontaneously 

and not be guided by my answer. I cannot wait to hear your answers! 

Thank you all for participating. I will be doing this every Thursday so I

hope you’ll all be back.

My answer to last week’s question “Are you an active participant in Lent? Is there nything you try to do differently at this time of the year that you might not ordinarily do any other time  of the year? Is there anything you would like to share about your feelings for Lent?"


Personally, during Lent, I try to do more for others than I might normally venture out to do. I am an introvert, so I have a difficult time stepping up. I also attend the Way of the Cross each Friday during Lent and this year our Priest made Holy Week very memorable - both because of the activities and the drama/stress he inadvertently caused trying to get all the music ministers to participate together (too many Chiefs and too many styles.)


The Priest that is serving our parish this year made the week come alive. Wednesday evening was the Way of the Cross. He had people pretend to be the different characters in Jesus' life and they each read a part for each station. It was moving and brought you into Jesus' life.


The Thursday evening services include the washing of the feet. In years past, the priests have read the gospel and then done the washing. This year, while the Deacon read the gospel, the priest acted it out. It was also quite moving.

This book can be found on Amazon: