Title:
If Wishes Were Husbands
Author:
Elizabeth Kyne
Genre:
Romantic Comedy
Publisher:
Elly Books
Released:
November 2011
Book Blurb:
Rachel re-invents herself when she moves back to
her home town of Aylesbury; with a new job, a new house and a new haircut. But
people’s eyes glaze over when she tells them about her life as a
forty-something singleton who works in accounts. So why not spice things up a
bit? Why not tell her new hairdresser and her new friends about her fantastic
husband? Everyone wants to hear about Darren, the man who cooks her amazing
meals, cleans the house and takes her to bed for orgasmic sex three times a night!
What a shame he doesn't exist…
…Until she comes home one night and finds Darren
sitting in her lounge. And everything she said becomes true: from his sensuous
food to his skill in bed. So real, that she believes it.
Not as if living with a perfect is man is… well,
perfect…
She can’t find anything because every time she
puts something down, he tidies it away. Then there’s the shock of the credit
card bill from buying all that gourmet food. Not to mention the sex! Three
times a night is great at first, but sometimes all she wants at the end of the
day is a sandwich and some sleep.
Then Rachel decides that Darren has to go - and
that’s when her troubles really begin.
From the Author:
IF ONLY I DIDN’T HAVE A LOVE AFFAIR WITH SLEEP
Author Elizabeth Kyne dreams about what life might have been like
if she’d been blessed with more hours in the day
One night a couple of years ago, I was just getting ready
for bed when the phone rang. “Who the hell’s calling at this hour?” was the
general reaction in the house. It turned out to be Ian. The conversation went
something like this:
“Oh hi Ian, I was just going to bed.”
“Bed? But it’s ten o’clock. Why are you going to bed now?”
“Because it’s bed time.”
He had no concept of a person wanting to go to bed at ten
o’clock. To him, it was the middle of the evening and there were four hours
until his bedtime.
I wish I were like Ian.
To clarify, I’m actually glad I am not like Ian in many ways
(I’m not sure how I’d cope with being a teacher in Scotland, for example), but
in the sleep department, I envy him. On the day he’d rung me, he’d spent eight
hours at work, earned some lovely money, then come home, had some dinner and
relaxed for a bit, and was just settling down to work on a script for a play he
was writing and wanted to chat to me about it.
As for me, I’d spent all day writing and doing assorted
things, earned very little money, had dinner, spent a precious hour relaxing in
front of the telly and was about done for the day. If only I’d been able to
stay up until two in the morning doing stuff, then I could have achieved so
much more.
There is a piece of advice dished out to writers which, in
many ways, is excellent advice. It goes something like this: Set your alarm for
an hour earlier, get up and write for an hour, then go to work. Pretty soon,
you will have written the first draft of a novel and – what’s more – you
haven’t had to sacrifice any salaried time to do it. Which, if you want to eat
and have a roof over your head, is a pretty good idea.
I’ve tried this. Really, I’ve tried it. Maybe it worked on
the Monday, maybe I even managed to struggle out of bed on the Tuesday, but by
Wednesday I was just beat. The other problem was – and this is the biggest
problem, to my mind – is that by the time you get into work, you’re too tired
to put your all energies into your job. That’s the job which is paying for
life’s little essentials like food and housing. To put it at risk by coming in
exhausted every day is probably not the best plan for continued employment.
Add to that the additional complication of the day job I
foolishly decided to take on. My background is in radio journalism and, in
radio, the most important time of the day is breakfast time. So, often my shift
would start at 5am. I was already getting up at 4.30am. The prospect of getting
up at 3.30am to write… well, let’s just say that wasn’t going to happen.
One advantage of shifts like this, you might think, is
because you start early, you finish early too. Although this is the case, my
ability to function in the afternoon when I’ve been up at 4.30am and worked the
equivalent of a full day, is vastly reduced. Exhaustion is total. I’ve tried
using this time to write or to exercise and it’s generally been a failure. It’s
hard enough just staying awake in the afternoon to make sure that when I go to
bed at night I actually sleep.
I’m such a wimp at sleep, that after a week doing shifts
like that, my stamina for going out at the weekend was very low indeed. So much
so that I got a bit of a reputation for going to bed early at parties. There
was one party I remember in which I was so sleepy by the time I got there at
8pm that I decided to nip upstairs for a quick lay down on the spare bed. I had
fully intended to get back up and do some partying, but fell asleep instead and
only emerged some twelve hours later to find a handful of people downstairs
nursing their hangovers. Yep, I’d slept through the whole party.
If only I wasn’t a slave to sleep. If only I had the stamina
to write at either end of the day and still earn a crust at a regular job. But
that’s just not me. In the end, I’ve had to accept that if I want to write, I
have to sacrifice a regular salary. For me, that has meant going part time at
my radio job so I work weekends and write during the week. It still means I
can’t go to parties without going to bed early, but at least I’m writing.
I have great admiration for the authors of this world who
get up and write before going to work, or burn the midnight oil to get that
manuscript finished. They are amazing people. Some of them even manage it with
a young family or a baby in the house. They are truly heroic; I wish I were
more like them.
My point is, I guess, that we all have limitations to what
we can do. For me, it’s sleep; for others it maybe family or business
commitments. But, in our heart of hearts, if we want to write, then we will
find a way. Because a writer who doesn’t write is no writer at all.
*****
Rachel re-invents herself when she moves back to her home
town of Aylesbury; with a new job, a new house and a new haircut. But people’s
eyes glaze over when she tells them about her life as a forty-something
singleton who works in accounts. So why not spice things up a bit? Why not tell
her new hairdresser and her new friends about her fantastic husband? Everyone
wants to hear about Darren, the man who cooks her amazing meals, cleans the
house and takes her to bed for orgasmic sex three times a night! What a shame
he doesn't exist…
…Until she comes home one night and finds Darren sitting in
her lounge. And everything she said becomes true: from his sensuous food to his
skill in bed. So real, that she believes it.
Not as if living with a perfect is man is… well, perfect…
She can’t find anything because every time she puts
something down, he tidies it away. Then there’s the shock of the credit card
bill from buying all that gourmet food. Not to mention the sex! Three times a
night is great at first, but sometimes all she wants at the end of the day is a
sandwich and some sleep.
Then Rachel decides that Darren has to go - and that’s when
her troubles really begin.
Elizabeth Kyne takes the absurdities of the modern woman's
quest for love and turns them into an enjoyable romp. She finds the comic in
everyday situations, from buying a dress to experimenting with hair dye at
home. While, underneath, she comments on the pressure to find the perfect
husband and how that quest is doomed for us all.
PAPERBACK
EBOOK
Elizabeth Kyne trained to be a radio journalist and spent
her early working years reading news bulletins and writing for magazines.
Later, after learning the meaning of “mortgage” and “gas bill”, she decided to
do the sensible thing and drop the freelance lifestyle to get a proper job. The
job, however, all went horribly wrong and she returned to her first love of
writing, and worked on several novels before finding success with “If Wishes
Were Husbands”.
Book Quotes:
And, looking at myself in the changing room mirror, I
started to doubt if even one of my old posh frocks would fit anymore. The
sagginess of time had started to pull on my body. Breasts gradually making
their way to rendezvous with my navel, belly like a deflated rugby ball and
thighs like tree trunks with wrinkled bark that tapered ever so slightly down
to the water retention at my knees.
How the Victorians would have disapproved of the display of
underwear on show: rows and rows of bras and knickers on individual hangers as
far as the eye could see in all colours from somber browns to sexy reds and
purples. Lace, wire and enhanced cleavage nuzzled next to practical, unadorned
boob holders.
My Review:
If we could have the perfect husband we’ve always wanted,
what would we wish for? Rachel made that wish and then began to weave a
fairytale. All she really wanted to do was fit in. She was tired of being
labeled as a 40 something year old single female who was married to her job.
Little did she realize that when she returned home that night, her fairytale would
have come to life. Maybe perfect isn’t what we’re dreaming of, that is, until
it fads before our very eyes.
Rachel is out with friends one night and conjures up the
perfect man. Her friends are all envious of her wonderful life. She returns
home to find the fairytale has come to life and as the days go by, she begins
to realize perfect isn’t always perfect. She begins to resent this perfect man
who is there to satisfy her every whim. The book is quite funny and I enjoyed the fast-paced
story line.
The author did an excellent job in showing Darren’s
confusion when Rachel becomes irritated with him when all he wants to do is
please her. After all, Rachel conjured him up. It was a fun book.
I am giving this book a excellent rating because I thought
the writing was good. The book had an original concept. I did not come across
any grammatical errors or misspellings as I was reading (doesn’t necessarily
mean there weren’t any, but I’m good at spotting them and I saw none.) I think
if you are looking for a fun, light read, this book hits the mark.
Elizabeth's book can be purchased from Amazon here:
Disclaimer / Disclosure: I received a complimentary copy
of the book with no obligation for a positive review. No compensation -
monetary or in kind - has been obtained for this post. Cover art and book
description courtesy of the author, publisher, or PR firm.
You can also win a copy of the book by playing the Rafflecopter!
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Posts
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this looks like a very good book, i think if i don't win, i will buy it :-)following you via CC
ReplyDeletehttp://7kidsandcounting.blogspot.com/
I love it. Nice concept. We often have these types of wishes, but if they were true, would we really want them? Sounds like a book I'd want to read.
ReplyDeleteI had to laugh out loud when I saw the synopsis. This sounds a cute book. I really want to know where Darren came from.
ReplyDelete