"Deep in my heart, I know there’s no promise I’ll be free from trouble in this life. In fact, I’m usually either getting out of trouble, currently in trouble, or about to meet trouble around the next corner."...... I hope you'll stick around for my "Lucille Ball/Gracie Allen" adventures. It promises to be a wild ride.
Diary of an Emotional Prostitute by Beatrice McClearn
“Diary Confession 1. My past wasn’t haunted by drugs, pimps, ‘Johns,” or violence, but rather by something more detrimental to the spirit. It was a force that ate me up and broke me from within. It was a force that most people feared. Unfortunately I was one of the unlucky few that had to endure such a pain; thus giving me a name. A name I was ashamed to bear; one that kept me branded to the essence of his scent. By the end of this journey, you will know why I am called “An Emotional Prostitute.”
About the Book (from the book):
The Story Behind the Book
“The novel began as a poem entitled Addiction which depicts Beatrice McClern’s personal feelings toward her first love in 2006. Soon after writing the poem, McClearn decided to write a private autobiography – never intended to be published.
The first two drafts were based on McClearn’s diary entries. As she read, she realized that she craved love more than she craved anything else in the world. Thurs, she called herself an ‘emotional prostitute’.
As a former educator, McClearn mentored a lot of her students that were going through traumatic ordeals at home. She wanted to give them a voice, so she took out her story and merged their stories with the main character. Thus McClearn’s memoir turned into a fictional tale about a young lady whose circumstances led her to become an ‘emotional prostitute’.
One might believe that the term “emotional prostitute” relates to a provocative act. In reality, emotional prostitutes seek emotional fulfillment through loving another. While the pursued may be victim for a while, the pursuer is often a lifetime victim of their own circumstances.”
About the Author (from the book jacket):
Beatrice McClearn is the first author to shed light on emotional prostitution in an effort to end the cycle, and regain a sense of morality. The intimate diary format brings readers closer to the main character, and recognize their own inner struggles. McClearn obtained her degree in broadcast journalism from Bowie State University. A few years later, she received her certificate in creative writing from Prince George’s Community College. Her experience as a former educator with Prince George’s County Public Schools helped shape the notion that if gone unspoken, teenagers will continue the growing phenomenon.
First, for some strange reason, I thought the book was a memoir. Hence, I was dumbfounded when I got to the last two pages. My heart almost stopped beating.
Reading the book as a memoir, I was left thinking how absolutely candid and brave the author was in revealing her story. Even as I came to the realization that the book was fiction, my thoughts did not change.
The book’s back cover states: “By the end of the novel, you will discover one of two facts: 1) You KNOW an emotional prostitute; or 2) You ARE an emotional prostitute.” The epiphany for me was I am an Emotional Prostitute.
My very being, my deep happiness comes from loving someone. My happiness comes from making my husband happy. My fulfillment is in knowing my children are happy. My contentment comes from my dogs’ reactions to me. When my friends are happy, I am happy. In doing this, we walk a fine line between loving too much, liking too much, looking to others to fulfill us to the point of depleting the recipients of air. I do not think I am a person meant to be alone; however, I am comfortable being alone.
In the book, Lilah uses love and sex to fulfill her inner void. This may be the cycle the author speaks of conquering. So many people have a void in their life and they attempt to fill it with false love, sex, drugs, alcohol, gambling, shopping, and many other vices. We need to teach our children (and each other) to be confident in who they are, to fulfill their destiny, and to be strong, to teach them not to pimp themselves in an effort to fill a void.
Lilah’s story progresses from a painful childhood to a young woman that hits rock bottom. From there, the book takes us through Lilah’s realization that she controls her happiness and then, her taking charge of her life. The ending of the book brings us full circle. This book is an example of how we do not have to let the hand of cards we’ve been dealt define who we are. We are free to, at any time, gather up the cards, shuffle the deck, and re-deal the cards. Our life can be anything we want it to be.
Lilah was a wonderful person who had so much to offer. I have no thoughts on the shocking ending of the book as I write this review. My mind has yet to piece it together. These thoughts may stem of my thinking it was a memoir for most of the book.
This book contains sexual scenes that personally I would not want my teen reading, but let’s face it. I live in a somewhat sheltered world of my own making. The story, however, is a story that teens and adults should read. I highly recommend this book. Beatrice McClearn has a powerful message for all of us.
Disclaimer / Disclosure: I received a complimentary copy of the book with no obligation for a positive review. No compensation - monetary or in kind - has been obtained for this post. Cover art and book description courtesy of the author, publisher, or PR firm.
Interview with Beatrice McClearn:
How much of the book is fiction and how much is autobiographical?
Approximately 25% of the book is autobiographical. The rest is a facet of my imagination based off those experiences, or experiences of others. For example, I've never been raped, and my parents have been happily married for 30 years. On the flip side, my first love really did begin a life without me in the manner I describe in the story. We entertained getting back together but it never really worked out that way (so far).
What do you want the reader to come away with?
I would hope that readers begin to notice how emotional prostitution affects them or those around them. Almost as if an addict learns and admits to being an addict. Once they do, they can find ways to overcome the addiction. Not all emotional prostitution is bad - but I believe it should be presented in moderation.
Do you still consider yourself an Emotional Prostitute or do you think people can change?
I believe I am a work in progress. I am still an emotional prostitute to an extent; meaning I have my weak moments, but once I realize that I'm emotionally relying on others for fulfillment, I reacess the situation and find an alternative method which would create balance. Once I identify the cause I can change the effect.
What is your next project?
Right now, I have no pending book projects. I'm taking this year to market Diaries of an Emotional Prostitute. In the interim I have a talk show with Journei the Poet on Youtube called Uncover 2 Discover. Next year, I will look into writing another book...this time non-fiction.
The author has graciously agreed to provide me with a book for
a give away. All you have to do is be a follower of my blog and
leave a comment on this review with your email address.
Drawing will be on June 25, 2011.
Winner will be posted on June 26, 2011
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This book is available for purchase at the following locations:
Goodreads Shelfarie Barnes and Noble Library Thing Smashwords Sixth Sense Publishing