Monday, April 4, 2011

When you least expect it, bad turns into good

            Know how you sometimes have those days when the last few have been rotten and you just expect today to be the same; and then it all gets shot to hell, because it turns out to be a good day? I had one of those days today.
            I had an appointment with my “lady” doctor to have my “lady” exam today and had it not been Monday and too late to cancel…well, let’s just say I had to go. Face it, on the best of days, who wants to get naked, climb up on a table, and spread their legs, much less on a day when you expect to have a bad day. Turns out, it wasn’t so bad today. As odd as that sounded the doctor just made my day and in fact, turned my entire day around.
            She is so cute and I am still not sure if she remembers all of her patients or she is just that great at faking it, but, she came in with a cheerful hello and complimented me on my hair, and went on to ask me how I was doing. A person who sees you (all of you) once a year and cheerfully sits down to converse with you as if you are two old friends is truly a gift to the profession. After a pleasant conversation and then the not so pleasant part, she gave me a huge smile and big hug and told me if I needed anything just to give her a call.
            Next stop on the agenda was the mammogram office. Normally I am one of maybe three women in the little waiting room. Today, there were seven of us; and the conversations were hysterical.
            First of all, every woman in the room was talking about how naked they felt without their deodorant (I'm thinking this is a woman thing, because I haven't met a male yet that this mattered to.) It is quite interesting how all women feel about that particular issue. You can be fully clothed but feel like you are walking around exposed to the world because you lack deodorant. On that topic, I also came away with a new spin on deodorizing yourself; Milk of Magnesia. A woman there said her mother had learned from a friend that instead of using deodorants with harsh chemicals, milk of magnesia worked wonders.
            If you have ever taken the time to read the ingredients in deodorant, milk of magnesia sounds very pure. In addition, when you sweat, you don’t have to smell like the flavor of the month club (which we all know does not smell good!) Sweaty Peaches and Cream? Sweaty Lilacs? Sweaty Beach Breeze? Need I say more?
            Then, there was the woman sitting next to me who had a “bag” (purse) as large as mine and she complimented a woman who had just walked in on her purse. I looked at the cute retro purse and then at her bag and then at her. She laughed and told me she was trying to figure out just what she might fit into it. I told her I was thinking it would fit inside of my bag too and I wasn’t quite sure what items in my bag would fit inside the cute retro purse. She also complimented me on my very large Coach bag and mentioned what she thought it cost along with the comment it was out of her league (and then mentioned she had lost her Louis Vuitton collection in the hurricane – I did not laugh.) I did eventually let her in on a little secret about why pay full price when you could buy luxury items at tremendous discounts (I did not want to mislead her.)
            Then, one of the women had never had a mammogram so women being women we all had to tell her she was in for a real treat! (You would have too!) Someone made a comment about a pancake and I chimed in with “Yes, if I thought I could suck in my breath and it would flatten anymore, then I would certainly do just that.” The conversation, of course, proceeded to get just a little bit raunchier and there was not a dry eye in the place after that; especially as a man had the nerve to open the door and announce he’d be back later. Well, that just set everyone off again.
            So, that’s how the rotten day that I had been expecting, turned into a day of laughter.

1 comment:

  1. I can totaly relate to the deoderant thing. I sweat a lot more than normal people so I have to use that $14 per stick prescription strength stuff. Pretty embarrassing but that's my life! I think my problem might be outside of the realm of milk of magnesium! LOL It only gets worse when I have forgotten to put any on and I get so nervous about it that I sweat even more!

    Sounds like you had quite a day! I wish my lady appointments went that well! I've put mine off for two years...guess I gotta get an appointment scheduled soon. Yuck.


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