Monday, March 21, 2011

Lucy’s Back……

Lucille Ball's signatureImage via Wikipedia

            The reason I decided to write this particular story, or maybe a series of tales would more aptly describe them, is because one of my sisters brought to mind another of my “tales” as she was incorrectly guessing the origin of one of my blog stories.
            I used to say that I was a klutz or that I was not very graceful. I decided that those particular descriptions did not adequately describe me at all. I am not really a klutz (I am REALLY not-bull in a china store comes to mind) and I DO TRY to be graceful, most of the time falling far short of the mark, but I do try. I finally came to conclusion of claiming it and naming it for what it is - things just happen to me, I am Lucille Ball personified.
                   Just in case you are having doubts, there was the time……………..
            My husband, Jeffery built a wagon to haul things around our huge yard. Unbeknownst to me, he completed it. He hooked it to the tractor and came to the door to show me his new “prized” possession. Imagine my surprise when he showed me the chair he had thoughfully place in it. My husband then drove me around the yard and I pretended that I was a princess and waving to all of my subjects.
            In my world, no one was watching so it was all fun and games, UNTIL I saw the old man next door who was observing the goings on in our yard and by the look on his face had decided his new neighbors were nuts.
            Why this surprises me, I don’t have a clue. Every time I rode the tractor I could be heard for miles around (I am quite sure) singing, “Green Acres is the place to be. Farm living is the life for me…) Isn’t that what normal people do?

                              Then, there was the time……………..
            I skipped a step going down into the garage and careened into a four x four post, ending up in a heap on the floor. In between, I messed up my rotor cup, bruised the side of my rib cage, and knocked the breath out of myself. I finally got my husband’s attention by banging on the dryer door. He told me he heard a noise but because I had not yelled, he thought everything was fine. His comment, “You shouldn’t prance down the steps.” (Uh! Hello? That is not what I do.) He then asked me if I wanted to sit in a chair. At that point, I could breathe again and just retorted that I could not fall any further than the floor and I thought I would just stay there for a while.
            I often tell my husband (usually after I’ve “done” something,) “Ya gotta love me. What else ya gonna do with me?” My wonderful husband has learned from experience that I can be a handful and should be watched at all times! If he is working on a project, especially if it is one for me, I am stuck right there in the middle of it with him – usually in the way. My Guardian Angel has her hands full with me; just keeping me safe is a full-time job.
                           There was also the time…
            Jeffery was building a set of bookcases for me. He was hammering the shelves in and, of course, I was there watching every nail being nailed in. I love designing furniture and my carpenter husband brings it to fruition, so I get excited and usually get in the way. As I normally do, I got a little too close and when he swung the hammer back, it connected with my knee. Fortunately, I did not sustain any major injury. The accident was his fault. I even told him so. I told him that he had been married to me long enough to know that he should always be watching for me to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. You would think that he would remember.
            Then, there was the time…...and you will have to come back to read all about it.
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  1. Your stories sound a lot like me. Your story about how Jefferey said you shuldn't prace down the stairs reminded me of an accident I had yesterday. Jordan tore down the posts on the deck and left them in the middle of the yard. I was walking backwards to straighten out the hose and tripped and fell backwards over them. He said I should be paying attention to the fact that there are big posts in the middle of the yard. Tell that to my busted up arm! And I can't tell you the number of times that boards or random pieces of wood have been dropped on my head by my wonderful husband during one project or another!!!! Gotta love those men.

  2. You poor thing! Yep! We must be related through osmosis. This is only the tip of the iceberg - believe me. There are many more incidents to come.

  3. From my friend Marlene - a Lucy Compatriot:
    KLUTZES OF THE WORLD - UNITE!!!!!! LOVE THIS, DONNA! Makes me feel that I'm not alone!
    Yes, I am sitting here, laughing so hard, I am crying, just picturing you, sitting in your chair, in the wagon, waving to all your "subjects", with your new neighbor, wondering, just what kind of people are moving in next door!!!! rofl
    And, you, one your tractor, singing "Green Acres" LOVE IT!
    *on your tractor, I meant (remember, I'm still laughing)

  4. From my friend Dianne - another Lucy Compatriot:
    Yeah Donna, the only thing missing to make your "Lucy" life complete, would be to have Marlene and I as your neighbors.

  5. I should be locked up and only let out under high supervision!

  6. From Marlene: I found out that, if you drive a riding lawn mower too close to a raised deck, and get the tire lodged under the deck, and it won't come out, all you have to do it let the air out of the tire. Too bad it too me over an hour to figure this out! AND, if you are cutting grass on you lawn mower, and the tire falls off, and you are WAY on the far corner of your lot, you can use your son't Tonka truck as a tire to push your lawn mower to your drive way (if it's one of those heavy duty metal ones!) (that one even impressed Sean!)

  7. Marlene - You are giving me way too many ideas to keep for future help references! I'm impressed with the Tonka thing. Did you know that if you go up against a utility pole trying to cut that last little blade of grass and you can't get the mower into reverse, you can get off, pull back and work the shift into neutral and then into reverse (learned this on the side of a busy highway!)Companies should hire us to advertise their mowers.


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