Saturday, January 8, 2011

Who do you owe in life that you can never pay back?”

        We have all said at one time or another that everything we have been through has made us into who we are today, but have we ever really stopped to think exactly how and in what ways this is true?
        I recently purchased a book called “Question of the Day, where truth is the dare.” It is a very small book and would probably fit in most pockets, and I think I read somewhere that there are 365 questions included, but do not quote me on that fact. Each question is set to provoke deep introspective thinking. The questions lead us to examine our feelings and the dare simply means to dare to tell your truth.
        I decided to take this challenge and encouraged others to take it as well by posting the question of the day on my Face Book page. I decided I would challenge myself to answer a few of the questions on my blog. This is my first question.
        “Who do you owe in life that you can never pay back?” This question is poised to reveal a sense of indebtedness, appreciation, humility, acknowledgment.
        I have actually been pondering this question for several days rather than the one-day suggested by the author. Many scenarios have been playing in my head. I am grateful to many people for the roles they have played in my life, but the one that seems to keep reaching out to me involves an ex-husband. I am sure many eyebrows are lifting at that response, and no, it is not because of a perfect on-screen relationship between exes who remain friends despite the divorce as in the sitcom, “Adventures of the old Christine.” We often think about people we owe as being positive role models who perhaps had a positive effect on our lives, not as someone who is perhaps a negative role model who ended up having a positive effect on our life.
        I learned numerous lessons at the hands of my ex-husband after being bombarded for nearly eighteen years with negativism. While some may simply adopt the negative attitude surrounding them, my personality chose the opposite road. To balance out my life, I begin to look for the positive things in life. I guess I would say that I owe my ex-husband a small debt of gratitude for this life lesson.
        I was subjected to endless name-calling and personal insults. From the barrage of name-calling, I learned just how deep and piercing the hurt can be and promised myself I would never inflict that type of pain on another human being. I learned firsthand the depth of despair name-calling can cause a person, how it can mutilate their self-esteem. I realized that I did not ever want to annihilate another person in such a manner.
        Being around a habitual liar taught me the importance of truth. Other than the little white lies that we are all guilty of telling (no, I do not condone the little white lie) to avoid hurting the feelings of someone we care about, I feel the truth is as necessary to me as breathing is to life. I am a person who will stand up and speak the truth and take my consequences rather than lie. I will also be the first to step up and apologize when I wrong another person.
        Having the opportunity to see how unhappy a person can become when they are fixated on what appears to be another’s good fortune opened my eyes to the blessings in own life.
        As I wrote in the beginning, our life’s travels have made us who we are today and with that being said, I guess there are some we owe in our lives that we can never pay back.

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